(Sam x sister! Reader) I am a monster.

  Sam had caught up with Ruby after the big fight that him and his brother had in the motel room. He covered up any wounds he had gotten from the fight and bandaged them up with a tear from his shirt. Sam didn't want to leave his siblings behind. He loved his brother and sister, but he just could be near them right now. Not after what he did.

    He felt like he just wanted to die for what he did. He hurt his only sister while she was just trying to get him and his brother to stop fighting. What the hell was he thinking!?  He couldn’t get her reaction out of his mind. The look of fear and panic that she gave him was more horrifying than anything seen in his life. After he left, he felt nothing but guilt for what he had done. He didn’t mean what he did to (Name). He was just so angry, that he would have harmed anyone that got in the way of them fighting. He regretted for fighting with Dean, and hurting his baby sister.

    Sam felt like the worst brother in the world. The towering Winchester could not get the idea out of his head that what he did was boarder line insane. Not only did he hurt her physically, but he called her weak. He would have never called her that. (Name) was anything but weak. If anything she was the strong one of the family, even when both he and Dean were again blinded by so much anger. Was it really the demon blood that was doing this to him? Would he have done it if it weren’t for that crap he was putting into his body? Was Dean right about all of this? was he really turning into a monster? His thoughts were then interrupted when he heard Ruby called

“Sam, you ready for this?” The demon called to him, snapping Sam out of his thoughts. Sam quickly turned his head to her, looking into her dark soulless eyes.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s get to it.” Sam replied clearing his throat as he approached the old abandon monastery where Lilith would release Lucifer from his cage. Sam lost focus for a moment and thought back to a time where in seemed so much happier.

…

“Mommy, Can I hold her!?” Sam asked and his mother smiled down at him with a smile.

“Okay, but Sammy, you be careful with your baby sister. She’s had a long hard week at the hospital.” Said Mary handing the pink wrapped bundle in to her youngest son’s arms. The little six year old sat down before his mother handed him the little baby that had a hard long recovery at the hospital. The young boy looked down at her with extreme fascination and affection, glad to hear she was safe and at home with them.

“She’s so little! She’s like a potato, only cuter!” Sam said with amazement while looking at the child in his arms. Mary and John laughed as they looked down at Sam with their new daughter. Sam then looked down and then kissed the newborn’s forehead. “I love you, (Name). Welcome to our family.” Sam whispered to the sleeping baby, and she began to stir in her sleep. He saw her opened her (e/c) eyes and looked at Sam with a small gummy smile. Sam started to smile excitedly as he looked up to his parents. “Mommy! Daddy! Did you see that!? She smiled at me!”

“That was her first smile, Sammy. And she saved it for you.” Mary said as she stroked her son’s thick mop head of hair. Dean was sitting next them when it happened, and she gave a warm smile of his own.

“You both look after her, alright? You two are big brothers now and she is going to need you two.” Their father said and both the boys looked down at the small infant, and kissed her forehead again. There was nothing more precious than this family welcoming home their newest member.

…

 Sam wished that he could go back in time and relive that moment as many times as he wished. But he knew he couldn’t. That time was long gone. He knew that (Name) would never look at him that way again. She would now see him as the thing that she had grown up hunting for her entire life. She would see him as a monster, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

“Sam! Are you awake?!” Ruby yelled to the tall Winchester as they were about to go into the building, taking with him a demon knife that she gave him.

“Yeah sorry I was just thinking.” Sam said and Ruby stepped back a little while with a surprised expression on his face.

“Thinking? About what? Do not tell me you are backing out now! Sam, we are in way too deep to quit now!” She screamed at him, turned back to her.

“Look, I’m just saying there has to be a better way than this. Drinking demon blood and Icing Lilith with it.” Sam looked down and away from the demon girl. Ruby can tell what he was thinking of.

“Is this about (Name)? About what happened in the hotel room?” Ruby asked sounding very indifferent, not for Sam, but (Name). It was no secret Ruby didn’t like (Name), and the feeling was mutual. (Name) always watched every move this demon made, and Ruby didn’t like it. The youngest Winchester was not the easiest to gain trust from, almost as difficult as her eldest brother. Not only that, Ruby was terrified of his sister. She didn’t know why, but for some reason every time Ruby saw (Name), she felt like running. Which is why she made sure Sam didn’t spend so much time with her. She didn’t want her getting in the way of Lucifer rising.  Ruby knew that is Dean didn’t stop Sam, it would been her.

  She made sure that he would turn on her when the time was right. She tainted her own blood with a special poison before Sam drank it.  It was to make him more aggressive and violent when he was provoked. Having him and Dean in the room would have certainly set off a fight, like Ruby wanted. What’s more is that he got physically violent with her, but the problem was that he didn’t do the job. She didn’t want Sam to hurt (Name), she wanted her dead. Ruby had this terrifying belief that (Name) would somehow stop the apocalypse happening.  She was supposed to have died when Azazel came to their home the night their mother died. But yet again, she survived. Just like the day she was born. Ruby managed this far of manipulating Sam and she was not going to let some insignificant human get in the way of it all that they have planned for long. She had to get him out of this haze of his and get back to killing Lilith. Then she will deal with (Name) herself.

“Ruby, I hurt her. No! I almost tried to kill her last night! Do you think I can just pushed this behind me?! She is my sister! She didn’t deserve what I did to her!” Sam then pulled out his phone and then started to dial the numbers, then Ruby took the phone from him and placed it in her pocket.

“Look, we can deal with this after this is all over. I’ll even go and find your sister myself, if you want me to. Then you make up and be the best of friends again.” She said bluntly, as though she were in a hurry. “For right now, we have to get this done! This is the end of the world we are talking about. Once we do the job, you can go and make it up with your sister and brother.” She finished opening the trunk of the car to reveal the nurse that had been processed by a demon working for Lilith who was bound and gagged and pulled her out. He squirmed and struggled trying to get out of Ruby’s iron grip. Then then turned to Sam and he stared back at him. “Well, are you in?” She said and Sam nodded.

“Yes.” He said and walked off with Ruby and left to go and off to kill Lilith.